it's so late.  so early.  i'm lying in bed with eric and lazlo and my heart is
racing.  i went to a horrible place tonight to watch friends perform. 
it's truly a bizzare world there.   i knew if i got groped i would punch the
groper.  that didn't happen though.  instead i stood and watched everyone and
didn't try to talk and i had some thoughts.  i  thought about driving from
yachats to newport with my mom and eric and in the car and we were silent.  and
i realized that i'm not just quiet around people i don't know.  i felt comfort
in knowing that i am also quiet around the people i love the very most.  and 
it's ok because they have come to expect that of me.  i decided the way i
communicate is through my eyes.  i hope people can see that.  that is why i
had crow's feet at age 11.  that is why my vision is 20/20.  realizing this 
reassures me that it's ok that my english words are often so awkward and hard
to come by.  so please forgive me when i stare seemingly blankly.  i'm trying
to let you know how happy i am to be near you.