so it was friday night and both flatmates were out at different bars 
drinking elixirs to make them happy.  or forget they were sad.  maybe
that's how it is.  one said he was going out with all our friends and
i said ok that means i'll be going home then.  there wasn't even a
moment of consideration that i, too, should spend time with them.  the
thing that's supposed to be "fun" and build memories instead creates
concrete blocks in my mind that fall 300 feet onto the people below.
so po visited and we worked on our pet project, the festive
elephant named lonsdale who is supposed to be for a two year old boy's
birthday party but, as doug said, he'd be great for someone's coming out
party. picture forthcoming. (here)

attitude changing has been somewhat successful.  tempered education creates
a more gentle process that is less stressful.

sometimes i worry about all my hair and teeth falling out.  i have to
go to the dentist in 10 days and i worry what will happen.  what if i
become a giant cyst?

last night's dream was worthy of a science fiction novel.  it's a shame i'm
not the one to write it.  basically: violence, martial law, gender illegalities,
danger, government, wearing hard hats to hide long hair.  oh wait, maybe
it's not science fiction, maybe it's just the oppresion linked with idealogy. 

i'm not so keen on the idea of colonizing mars.  we've already wrecked one
planet.  a new beginning doesn't always mean a brilliant future.  see history
of the united states for more information.