I am coming to realize that I will always be the girlfriend that my boyfriend's
parents don't approve of.

I counter this feeling of disappointment about myself by forcing myself to
list all the accomplishments I've had that they might consider worthwhile.  
 I have not borrowed money from a parent (or anyone else) since I was 20 and in college.
 I bought my first house at age 21.
 I made some money on the stock market... enough to buy two more houses.

(for the record, those things are pretty unimportant to me. )

Here are things that seem like huge accomplishments to me but parents (other
than my own) seem to not approve of:

 I followed my dreams and worked my ass off and got into a prestigious
national circus school in a foreign country.
 I followed my dreams again and decided to pursue a career that I knew would
never make me rich but is entirely personally satisfying.
 
I don't know why any of this really matters at all.  I guess I just want to
be loved by everyone.  I want everyone to know that I think I am an inherently
good person with good intentions and when I see their disapproval, I want to
set them straight.  I don't know how to do that though.  I don't know how to
do anything other than be myself.  It is even worse when misrepresentations
and miscommunications and misunderstandings skew their view even more.  

Part of me knows that the reason I don't meet their approval is I don't fit
into that sterotypical feminine roll.  There have been times when I saw 
glimpses of approval from parental in-laws and they were always at times when
I was questioning the validity of the moment.  For instance, I thought for
a brief moment that Eric's mom might like me when I mentioned I wanted to
landscape the back yard.  That was something she could relate to.  Gardening  
is safe.  Trapeze is exotic and dangerous. Being vegan is communist and
unAmerican.  Dreadlocks are right out.  

I feel heartbroken that Steve's mom thinks I didn't like her.  I thought she
was lovely and the sincerity with which she loves her two sons brings me great
joy.  I can only hope that in the future she thinks I am good enough for her
oldest.