last night we attended an art opening at the hotel cosmo downtown.  well,
i say attended, but really we walked in, looked around in horror, briefly
looked at the art, then made a break for it.  the doorman noticed us on the
way out and said "leaving already?" "Yep!" was my reply.  in the lobby of
the hotel near the front door a poetry reading was happening.  the poet was
so sincere.  i could feel his emotion dripping out of his mouth and into
the microphone, out the speakers and onto the audience like a nervous,
uncomfortable itch.  i felt a little bad about just walking past him but
comforted myself by thinking "he's expressing himself... so am i."
but all in that split second i thought "this is san francisco.  this is the
big city.  this is culture and this is how you exist in it.  wow.  i want
nothing to do with it!"  and so that's how it's been lately.  so many
opportunities for expression, presentation, elegance, exposure, experience,
and making your place in the world and none of it is the least bit appealing.

hello, oregon.  you are so appealing.